Mid Month Blues

Have I mentioned yet that I am writing a book. Well, I would like to write a book. Sitting down and actually making that happen is proving to be more difficult than expected. I have an apartment full of laundry, boxes that still need to be unpacked (I have been in my new apt for almost two months now), and just enough motivation to say screw it all. It is just one of those weeks. I just can't seem to pull it together even though I really would like to. I have NO motivation to do so what-so-ever!

Does anyone know how to kick the mid-month blues?

Even the Stongest Have Weaknesses

So I knew I would forget at least one of my many goals in my last post. Tomorrow will be my last day as a smoker! I am quiting the cigs down. It's funny...for the last month I have been talking about how October 15th would be my last day to light up. I have talked for a month saying how I know I am ready, I need to quit, how much money I will save and so on. But now that I essentially have only two more days with my dear friend nicotine- I can't help the small voice inside my head that is screaming for me to push it back. I of course will NOT. It is time to quit, and since this month seems to be the month that spurs change for me- it seems to be the perfect time. So tomorrow, I will buy my last pack of ciggies (maybe some exotic flavored brand like Vanilla Dreams...they do taste great) and I will enjoy my last day as a smoker. Wish me luck!

Are you there God, it's me Stephanie

So, I have started a blog. Nothing fancy, just a place to share my "inner most" feelings. I have tried the traditional form of keeping a journal, hoping it would help with my sanity, but seeing that my journal is still in its original plastic wrap- I thought I would try an electronic version. Where to begin- I guess that would be at the beginning... I have been going through somewhat of a "twenty-something cirsis" the last two years, gained an enormous amount of weight, and can't remember the last time I enjoyed life. You know the feeling when you wake up in the morning excited about the day...yeah I can't remember the last time I thought that. Now that I have realized that very sad fact, I am going to be making some changes. Thats right...CHANGES. Not the buillshit like oh I hope to be a better person...no some real honest to God changes. I need to find a purpose, a reason I am here. I need to get out there and start living life, creating my own destiny. This blog will be my escape, a place to chronicle my experiences. Track my progress. So, I guess first I should layout some goals and a timeline. Make this REAL and not just another attempt (and yes to be honest there have been a few to date....). I am hoping that by putting this in writing it will spir some motivation. I turn 25 in 8 months (on July 8th) so I feel that is a perfect naturally occuring time limit. Now let me set some goals (listed in no particluar order):

GOAL #1: Get back into shape! I have 30 pounds to lose people!!
GOAL #2: Finish my book...yes I am a writer and in the process of writing my first book.
GOAL #3: Meet a Mr. Right-Now
GOAL #4: Can we say get a life- I need to get out there and get moving.
GOAL #5: Learn to cook
GOAL #6: Cook for someone I love
GOAL #7: Be able to answer the question- what am I doing and why?
GOAL #8: Money MANAGEMENT- I could always use more, but I want to learn to live on what I've got!
GOAL #9: Have a large 25th birthday party and invite everyone I know! (and please let that be more that the 5 people I know now..I am not even joking)

There you are: my goals for the next 8 months. Some will be harder than others, but I want this. I really friggin want this, and I want to be able to say "I did it".

So I am dedicating this blog to everyone out there who needs it- whatever their "it" may be.